Eye of the - Ugly Christmas Sweatshirt

*faux knitting - it's made to look like sweater knitting but it's printed on.

Long ago, deep beneath the frostline, a chest was opened that should’ve stayed sealed.
It wasn’t wrapped. It wasn’t labeled.
The thing that came out of it didn't blink.

They called it festive.
They dressed it up. They gave it cocoa. They sang at it.
It multiplied.

Now every Midwinter, across dozens of ruined planes, they appear.
Floating. Watching.
Wearing Santa hats.
Grinning like they know you're about to roll bad.

This relic commemorates the night when no adventurers could rest.
No stockings could stay hung.
And no saving throw comes without disadvantage.
The beholder comes bearing no gifts. Only its gaze.

And yet...
It’s said one village survived.
They offered a single slice of pizza and some flat mountain dew on a silver plate.
The eye flickered. Paused... and then drifted into the snow.

“We knitted hats for each of the eyes. It bought us time.”
- final entry, recovered from post-yule assessment log
"He winked and my brother disappeared."
- lone survivor, now blind in one eye

Printed on mimic stitched cotton/polyester. Designed for layering over deadly chills.
Includes holy snowflakes, cursed D20s, floating iris sigils, and one gift-wrapped treasure chest no one’s dared open.
Festive. Fearsome. Foul.

Wear it to the feast. Wear it to the raid.
Because the eye doesn’t blink.
And it doesn't forget.